Boob hats (part 2)

In my last post I discussed how breastfeeding can take its toll on any new mum.

As a new mum I was initially finding it difficult. I am still having difficulty, but, the difficulty surfaces when I am out in public.

Should I breastfeed?

Should I use the bottle?

Are the two main questions I ask myself before I go out with my little one. Sure breastfeeding is good. Even though I love my son very much, I don’t have the confidence to breastfeed in public.

I wish I have the confidence to tell those people who are watching with the judgemental eyes where to go. I wish that the public do not judge.

Being on a social media platform I read stories about women breastfeeding in public and how they retaliated. However, not everyone is like this.

I do not have the confidence to say to other people where to go or simply “jog on”. This puts pressure on me. So I have to use the bottle. This takes away some of the beautiful moments with him.

Do I feel bad? Of course! I have to get the bottle ready, which is no picnic! Especially when doing it one handed. Handling a flask of water and making sure it’s all the right temperature for him. Is hard work. It also doesn’t help that my son will get impatient and try to cry the roof down…embarrassing and yet feeling like a failure.

A failure because I am not breastfeeding my son and it is best. A failure because he is getting impatient and crying so much because he is hungry. It is one of the worst feelings a mum will go through.

So why don’t I breastfeed?

Judgement

I am scared of what people would think of me if I breastfeed my son out in public:

Judging me, thinking that I am not doing it right (there are many different ways of breastfeeding and there is no wrong way) .

Judging me, because they can’t accept such a beautiful moment of motherhood and thinking I should be doing it I’m private.

Don’t new mums have enough on their mind?

Yes.

Having to go through the motions of motherhood can be mentally challenging and having judgement cast on us can cause us to become anxious (or more).

As I can become anxious this means for me that I can’t go out of the house for too long as I know my son will want to be breastfed as it calms him down. For someone who spent most of their time out. Is hard. I only feel relaxed to breastfeed at mine or at my parents. I would love to say out for longer but I feel more safe at mine away from prying eyes. Away from JUDGEMENT.

So I ask you, don’t mums have the right to breastfeed anywhere without the prying eyes of the public?

YES!

To the public do not judge any mums feeding their babies. We have enough on our plate! We also have the most important job in the world.