The mum identity

Ever worry that once you are a mum, your personality has to change? You loose your identity and become known as simply James’ mum?

Well, I am here to say don’t change!

Stay true to yourself.

I thought I would change but I haven’t changed much ( I think)!

I have a great group of friends and some of them have said that I have always acted like a mum. I would always make them message me when they get home. I even do that to my aunt!

I still act aloof at times and get excited about the simple things in life, like, when a tune comes on the radio or when it rains heavily (I know that’s weird)!

I try to maintain my identity before I was pregnant the adrenaline junkie, cheesy music and sometimes serious mum. However, that can be hard. As James has now tamed me! So goodbye adrenaline Nicola and hello more sensible Nicola!

Louisa May Alcott (one of my favourite authors) wrote in Little Women “I am angry in nearly everyday of my life”. This was said by Marmee March and now that I am a mum to a 19 month old boy, I can relate to this. I can understand why she is angry, as there was a civil war during the time of Little Women and she was embarrassed by her country. She wanted her daughters to be raised in a country that treated everyone equally.

So there are some parallels of this and where we are now in this terrifying world.

Before James arrived I was naive and I really didn’t have a clue what is happening in this world. I really didn’t have a care! I was too busy having a laugh with friends, watching great movies and a few ice hockey games.

Now, I am more aware of the scary world. I am almost angry every day. I am angry at the world and I get angry if James doesn’t listen to me or if other people don’t listen to me (it does happen). I get angry that my voice is not heard. The voice of a scared mum who wants the best for their child.

There are so many things I want to change in this world. I wish everybody’s thoughts can be heard. Have people forgotten about freedom of speech?

Well , mums want their voices to be heard too. We don’t want to be pushed over or forgotten!

Especially this mum!

This is a new change in me. I was never one to confront anyone. I actually never sent a plate back until last year! I have become more assertive and since I have a big responsibility I want my opinions and any issues I have to be heard.

I never thought about becoming a blogger until a few months after James arrived. Having James has given me the confidence to be heard. The confidence that I can help other mums with any issues.

I want to raise James teaching him that he has a voice and he should speak up on what he is passionate about.

I honestly thought that when I would become a mum I would have to be dressed in white linen (or stripes) and take up yoga (still haven’t). I thought that I would become a wee bit like Mary Poppins and do something amazing with James everyday.

That painted a picture right?

Well, I am no Mary Poppins! I do occasionally wear stripes but no linen.

I am still fun, but not like Mary Poppins, more like myself. I would try to come up with some crazy ideas for James to try.

Even though I have been tamed. James and I still listen to cheesy music and have a dance to it to hearts content.

I just have a voice. A identity.

I am Nicola.

The voice of a mum who is almost angry everyday. Who now has the confidence to stand up for herself and not relying on others to do it for herself.

So stay true to yourself.

Stay safe

💖