Boob hats (part 1)

Another name for nipples devised by Chris Traeger in Parks and Recreation (its on amazon and a hilarious show).

So if you are a guy reading this don’t be scared by this posts title, just carry on reading. Afterwards you will have empathy for us mums. By the way if you are wondering breastfeeding is like a baster sucking your nipples (don’t ask)!

My son is currently 7 weeks and I am breastfeeding. NHS advises breast is best. You know what? Breastfeeding is hard too. Did they emphasise how hard it would be. Yes, but you don’t really understand how hard it is once you are breast feeding.

Yes, it’s good for babies as they will get the nutrients and the antibodies you are producing. Yes, it’s good for the mums and helps to bond the mother and baby.

However, it is bloody tiring. For me my son latched on as soon as he entered this world. However, in the first day he was deciding what he wanted. Was it his position? Yes.

A mum has to try to get their little one into the right position so they can latch on. For me this continues to be hard as my son is a wriggler and is getting bloody strong as well as growing. Positioning takes time. Mum’s have to ensure their baby is close to them. Mum’s need to ensure that their babys head is supported but free. Mum’s need to make sure their baby’s nose, knees and bellybutton are facing the same way. Mum’s have to line their boob hats with their babys nose. Mum’s need to ensure them and their baby is comfortable. You think this would be easy right?

No, for me at first breastfeeding was difficult. I couldn’t find the right position for my son. This was hard for me.

One of my greatest fears during my pregnancy was my baby wouldn’t accept my breast. My baby wouldn’t want breast fed. Would I fail as a mother?

Yes, I had tried and tried so hard. The NHS midwives were great on my ward. They spent time with me and giving me reassurance. However, I was still scared that my son wouldn’t latch. I tried different positions some worked then didn’t. It really is that difficult. As a mum you would persevere, as you want what’s best for your baby.

At night I felt worse. There was no family and my partner went home before 10. It was just me and my son. I had to take care of this little human who belongs to me. A lot of pressure right? I changed his nappies (a lot) and tried to feed him. Some of the times he accepted. Some of the times he didn’t. My son and I were getting used to each other. I can’t bear to imagine what he would be thinking over the first two nights. Trying to remember how to get your child in the right position and ensure they are comfortable (on only a couple of hours of sleep) is very difficult.

I found it so hard that I even had to learn how to hand express. That was hard for me. I felt broken and felt that I failed. I wanted my son to accept my breast. I felt I was under pressure to breastfeed my son. I felt that he was refusing to be close to me. I felt that he was refusing me as his mum. It was very tough for me at that time. I worked so hard to breastfeed. I also think many other mums on the ward were trying so hard too.

However, after reassurances from the staff. I tried hand expressing which worked to some effect.

I still felt low. It wasn’t until a midwife helped me to get my son into a position which worked for me and him. Yes, it took time, but, I felt relieved. I got some confidence. However, now I still have some difficulties.

Now, thinking about the first few days I was thinking: Why, would I do that to myself? Why, would I put so much pressure on myself? The media.

Mums out there don’t feel like a failure. Yes, try. However, don’t feel the pressure. Do what’s best for you and your little one. Whether it be expressing or having to use formula (there’s no right or wrong way). As long as you are looking after your baby to the best of your abilities. That’s the main thing. Be the best mum to your baby. Remember every mum will have a breastfeeding issue.

If you’re a dad still reading this (thank you) please ask your partner how she is when breastfeeding. Ask your partner if you can do anything to make them comfortable or be there for them to talk too. Please don’t put pressure on your partner as they will be feeling it!