Working mum

So, I haven’t posted recently as I am now back at work.

Yes, the most daunting thing about being a mum happened a few months ago!

So, as you can imagine, after my maternity leave ended. I was an emotional wreck. I cried and cried. When I dropped him off with family, who were delighted to have him. I continued to cry uncontrollably in the car on the way to work. I have never felt so bad leaving my son with my family. Never

But why did I cry?

Mostly cause I felt guilt. I work 12 hour shifts twice a week so I don’t see my son for 2 days. It’s horrible not seeing him for that length of time. I miss his dirty laugh and I miss him walking to me to give me a hug. Even though he can be mischievous and can drive me nuts by throwing toys everywhere! I still miss him.

A lot of people say “oh, you will be glad to get a rest when you are at work away from him”. But I am not glad to be away from him.

I felt that I should have stayed with him and that I shouldn’t work. But, I have to work so I can give him the childhood that I had. A childhood where we can go off on adventures and go on mystery tours. Where he and I can share magical moments together. Is that too much to ask? No

I have been working for the past few months now. So I have now got used to being away from my son for 12 hours. But, I still miss him like crazy. I sometimes wish that I am a stay at home mum or work from home. Fat chance there!

However, at this moment in time I can’t do that . This does put slightly more stress on me. Fun fact being a mum is two full time jobs! So working two long days and spending a lot of time with my son means I have very little time to focus on myself.

So just now I am watching a George Clarke programme and thought I should probably start back working on my blog (aka myself). Focus back on my life and my future. As I like writing my thoughts and what it is truly like as a mum.

I should say that I do know single mums and I take my hat off to you all! You are all marvellous women and should be proud of yourselves of what you have accomplished. Your little ones will be proud calling you mum ❤️